Jill McDevitt’s new book tells the tale of a society scared of their own impulses
Whether you’re a senator from North Carolina or an NBA shooting guard, controversy will follow you if you’re associated with sex. Jill McDevitt didn’t cheat on her cancer-ridden wife, but she did manage to cause a stir simply by opening a business in West Chester – the sex shop on Church Street named Feminique Boutique. She was demonized and beaten down, but now this degreed sexologist is speaking out in her new book, Fighting the Crusade Against Sex: Being Sex-Positive in a Sex-Negative World. We caught up with Jill to find out about her new book and to discover just what prompted her current course.
You’ve studied sex, conducted seminars and now own a sex shop. Why have you committed your life to sex? I decided it was important to say that pleasure is good for you and sex is not shameful.
I guess I’m trying to ask why sex is so important to you. As a kid I was completely uncomfortable with sex. When I was nine my mother was pregnant, and when she tried to tell me just the very basics of how it happened I covered my ears and squealed because I didn’t want to hear it. I became self-loathing as a sexual person. But then, at age 15, I was reading through some books in the Upper Darby High School library and realized I wasn’t the only one who felt this way. Why was it normal to feel horrible about something that was natural? I decided then that this was what I wanted to do with my life.
Then what? I had a horrible experience with my boyfriend at the time. We’d been together a long time, but he wasn’t okay with it.
Your sexual revolution was a problem for your high school boyfriend? Yes, because just as I was having this revelation, he had re-discovered religion and become a born-again Christian. He dumped me senior year because I wouldn’t pray with him. We’re still on good terms today, but it just didn’t work as a couple.
Then you went on to school to study sex, right? Yes. I got my bachelor’s degree in Sexuality, Marriage and Family at the University of Waterloo in Canada.
You got your degree in Canada? Is your degree even considered legitimate here? [Laughs] Yes. Absolutely. Actually, a lot of people say that, but really Waterloo is like the Harvard of Canada. I also received a master’s from Widener and am completing my PhD.
And what did you do after college? For a short time I tried to find real work – do actual sex and family counseling or write for websites that did sex advice. But I always knew I wanted to have my own thing. However, my boyfriend at the time was really unsupportive. He had been a marketing major, so he kept telling me how little I knew about business, and how I had no business plan, and that I wouldn’t succeed. Then, after a couple of months of not finding a job (I graduated in 2007, right as the whole job market was about to crumble) I basically said, “Up yours, I’m doing this.”
What exactly did you do? I started a company called Sex and Sensibility Seminars. I traveled around getting paid to talk about sex. That was back in 2007. Pretty soon I realized that I could make more money if I had things with me to sell after the show, and that quickly led to me opening this retail store in 2008.
I understand that opening this store wasn’t exactly a smooth operation. Not at all. I encountered the same problems I had faced as an awkward teenager, except they were amplified. First, after the borough granted my business license, and even after the 30-day period allowed for appeals was up, a local church decided they wanted to appeal. At first the borough stood up for me. There was a town meeting and they basically said, “Look, she’s grandfathered in. All we can do now is make sure that no other sex shops can open in West Chester in the future.” But then, they eventually said to me, “Sorry, we can’t defend you in this. If you want to fight them you’ll have to get lawyers and defend yourself,” even though the church had no legal right to challenge me.
Then there was a conservative candidate running as a Republican for local office, and his whole platform was closing my shop. He wrote an editorial that a local paper picked up, and a media sensation ensued. I was on NBC, stuff was on the internet, in the papers, but I mostly kept my mouth shut and held back from saying a lot of things I wanted to. Eventually there was sort of a grassroots movement that gained footing defending me, through blogs and things, and I just let them do the talking.
And now you’ve written a book about the experience? I have. It is my opportunity to say all the things I wanted to say at the time, all the things that were going on in my head. It also tells some of my back story, and I’m honestly a little nervous about people reading it because it has a lot of intimate details about my life.
When’s the book out? Sunday, November 6 we’re having a launch party at the shop that starts at 2pm. There will be food and sales and signing and a brief reading. I think it will be a good day because we are expecting a lot of people.
